And the positives.

The RN's here are great to work with and ready to teach, and willing to let me try to do stuff.

People here are helpful, in that Minnesota-helpful way that seems to be hospital encultured here: that is to say, they will help you just as far as they have to, to a) get you out of their hair or b) make their own jobs easier.

Only 3 of my kids are on TPN.

None of them are on the ventilator (although one of them is close, the little monster).

I have already been to one delivery. I am allowed to try doing things. I am encouraged to talk to parents however I feel it is best to convey the information-- and if that means simplifying until they get it, that's what I do.

I have babies to hold, too. And while I miss my kid-- something awful-- I have one that needs cuddled right now.

Hallelujah,good things

Not to be a posting junkie, but good things are on the move tonight.

I spent 20 minutes holding a lovely little baby. Tragic story. Nice kiddo.

Nothing relaxes me like a bundle of infant in my arms. I could feel the muscles in my back and neck going 'sproing' as they released years of tension.

I might do it again.

And we got our call schedules.

Important thing #1: I will be able to stay married, as the chiefs managed to schedule me for 2 weeks of LOA over christmas. For the record, I work New Year's Eve, but who cares about THAT?

Important thing #2: I will be able to go to Worldcon.

I'm sending the chiefs email RIGHT NOW about taking a second 2-week LOA in January.

And then I'm going to go hunt for another baby to terrorize-- er, hold.